Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
