Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
