found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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