oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
not ubering you a puppy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
