i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
