My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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