Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
