Need sex. Gaining weight.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to calm my uterus...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
