I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
