I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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