I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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