yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
