Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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