okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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