I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
