Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
