Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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