White coat. Heels.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
