you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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