I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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