As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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