ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I smell like Dick and happiness
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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