"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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