i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
