as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
