Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
