Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
