I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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