we have officially lost it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
