Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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