I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
