A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
