If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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