Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize