Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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