Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
