Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
