i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
