He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
