I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
