"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i've created a new STD.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
