I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
