You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize