thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
