so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
