I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
