I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All the doctor said was why
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
