I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
