You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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