for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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