I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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