It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
