i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize