O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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