dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
