is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
