I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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