I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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