i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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